Best Time Pass Jokes

We come here again with best ever time pass jokes to make sure that your smile never stops.

Here we go...

Girl: Dad, I want to share one important thing with you.
Dad: Ok, tell me.
Girl: I am in love with a guy. He lives in U.S.A.
Dad: But where you met?
Girl: We met on a dating website.. become friend through social media, he proposed me on Skype..
then we chatted a lot on messaging app..
Father: oh really. Then you both can get married on twitter... go on honeymoon on travel site, get kids through shopping site, and receive them through gmail..
And moreover.....if you further feel your decision is wrong... sell it reseller website...

Husband: Shouts and yells ay wife.. I am calling you from last one hour.. Why do not you pick the call?
Wife: I was dancing on ring tone.

One fat man reads the newspaper ans notices the advertisement of - Fat Reduce Program!
He call and girls replies: Ok.. Get ready in the morning at 5 AM.
Morning, his door bell rings and he opens the door. A pleases to see a beautiful girl which jogging suit.
The girl asks him if you want to kiss me - catch me and she runs.
The fat guy runs after her..
This happens for a week and he reduces his weight by 5.0 kgs.
He again participates in 10.0 kg weight reduce program.
The next morning very beautiful girls knocks the door and asks him if if wants a hug and kiss, catch.
Again, this goes for a week and he successfully reduces 10.0 kgs.
Now he become greedy and participates in 20.0 kgs weight reduce program.
The next morning....
The door bell gets ring and he surprise to see a huge black man was standing and shouts if I catch you - I will kiss you.

Female: My lips are infected..
Doctor: How many times do you kiss?
Female: Once in a year!
Doctor: They are not infected rather they are rusted!!

World's smallest poem..
Life is big struggle...til wife is with you..

Please God,, Please intimate me 5 minute before dying that I am about to die.
Because I die without formatting my mobile.... It will be a big mess!

Wife: Suddenly gets up at 2 clock night... awakes her husband and asks:
Do you know the date of when you got your job?
Husband: yes, 8th April 2004
Wife: And your best friend's marriage date?
Husband: yes, 12th September 2009
Wife: Our new neighbor's age in our society?
Husband: 4 months
And you sister engagement date?
30gth July
But why are you asking this in mid of night? husband asks angrily..
Wife: Today is my birthday....
A ong silence.....


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